How to Avoid “Head-Hopping:” Third-Person Point of View
Choosing a perspective through which to tell a story is one of the most, if not the most, important things a writer has to decide. Do readers need a deep, emotional understanding of one single character, experiencing events as they do? Or would it benefit them to take a step back, remaining as a fly on the wall?
Having a point of view (or narrative voice) can’t be avoided. Every piece of writing has one. Who your characters are—their beliefs, impressions, and reactions—is what informs how a story is told. As a writer, there are three main perspectives to choose from: first, second, or third-person narration.
Each offers different creative opportunities, and it can take some time to find the right voice. But once you do, stick with it! Confusion in point of view is one of the most common issues I encounter. This is known as “head-hopping.” It is likely to cause confusion, and may even break the spell you’ve so carefully crafted and take readers out of the story. And no one wants that!
In this third (and final) post on point of view, let’s finish with the most common (and most confused!) perspective: third-person.
>> Don’t miss the other posts in the series: How to Avoid “Head-Hopping:” First-Person Point of View and How to Avoid “Head-Hopping”: Second-Person Point of View <<
THE BASICS
The third-person point of view is by far the most common in fiction. As in the first-person point of view, authors invite readers inside the mind of the point-of-view character (or narrator), creating an intimate portrait of their experiences (or of those who they describe). Third-person pronouns are used to describe the action—he, she, they, them. There are three types of third-person narration, typically defined as:
Limited/Close: Relays only what the point-of-view character personally experiences or knows. It is very similar to the first-person point of view, in that the narrator and protagonist are one in the same.
Objective Omniscient: Neutral and detached, with no—zip, zero, zilch!—insight into the character’s minds. Think of the narrator as a cameraperson, or a fly on the wall. They observe the characters, but they do not interact with them.
Subjective Omniscient: Also neutral and detached, but the narrator can report the character’s thoughts. Although they are all-knowing, the narrator is typically separate from the main action.
PROS & CONS OF THIRD-PERSON POV
Similar to the first-person point of view, the third person provides an opportunity to create a truly distinct voice, one that immediately pulls readers in and showcases one individual and their experiences. But as the third person also offers a lot of opportunities to play it is especially important to consider what story you are setting out to tell, whose perspective is best for telling that story, and how you want the reader to experience it.
Limited/Close: This perspective can be as intimate as the first person, and conveys what the point-of-view character knows, senses, or experiences. For this reason, the pros and cons of a third-person limited perspective are much the same as that of the first person: you can create a distinct voice and immerse readers deeply within your character's world, but with so much room to play balancing what is necessary with what is not becomes vital.
The limited perspective is often used in books with multiple point-of-view narrators. (Think Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, or Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel.) Its intimacy allows writers to quickly and effectively establish each character’s unique voice and perspective, and a single issue can be examined from many angles. If you do choose multiple narrators, be sure that each has something vital to add to the plot and offers something the other characters can’t. If not, they are likely best in a supporting role.
Examples: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, Game of Thrones series by George R. R. Martin, Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, and many, many more!
Objective Omniscient: With this point of view, the author reveals no insight into any character’s thoughts and relays the story as though it were being recorded. (For this reason, this viewpoint is also referred to as Third-Person Cinematic.) The writer has to keep themselves in the director’s chair, recording only what they can “see” before them.
This style was popular in the 1800s, and many of what are considered “the classics” are written in the omniscient view. Contemporary authors of historical or family epics may use this perspective if they don’t wish to switch between narrators.
But as this is a very detached viewpoint. The narrator is distinct and separate from the action, and they cannot interact with the cast. As the narrator has to assume what the characters think and feel based on body language, it can be harder for readers to connect.
Examples: The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkein, War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, and The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett.
Subjective Omniscient: As with the objective view, the narrator must still be separate from the action and can only report thoughts. Yet they may occasionally insert their own opinions, or reveal knowledge only to the reader. Writers may choose this perspective for similar reasons as the objective view, but have the advantage of giving deeper insight into characters.
Examples: The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, and The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson.
HOW TO AVOID “HEAD-HOPPING”
The basic rule of only conveying things your point-of-view character knows, senses, or experiences slightly falls apart here! Particularly within the omniscient perspective.
If you’re writing in subjective omniscient, you can pretty much head hop all you want—although still within reason! Readers still need to be able to follow the story, and it is easy to confuse your audience with such a broad scope. The narrator sets the scene and leads the reader through the events the characters are experiencing. They reveal important personal information about characters, but they cannot become that character. So, “head-hopping” occurs when the narrator slips fully into the shoes of one character.
The objective omniscient takes some work to get right, as it is rather easy to fall into the limited view. And, by nature of this perspective, that in itself is head-hopping. The narrator needs to be detached, a simple observer.
Since the third-person limited/close perspective is the most commonly used point of view in fiction, this is where I encounter the most errors. Remember, as with first-person, the reader cannot know anything that your point-of-view character does not know. And they certainly cannot know the inner thoughts of any others! It is the same perspective we all have in our daily lives: we can make assumptions about others based on how they act, speak, or appear (bringing our own biases in the process), but we cannot know what another is thinking, or what they are truly going through, without being explicitly told. It is the same for your point-of-view narrator. Consider the following passage.
Chris smiled as the warmth of the sun hit his face. Skip bounded in front of him, chasing some squirrels, and disappeared around the corner. He increased his stride, calling out. “Skip! Come here, boy.”
“It’s okay,” someone called back in reply. “I have him. He’s so friendly! My name’s Lisa, by the way.”
Chris could now see the woman, who smiled up at him from where she knelt, petting Skip. She noticed his clear blue eyes, the slight concern marring his brow, and smiled even wider. Seeing she didn’t mind Skip’s persistence in getting affection, he relaxed and noted her water belt, and wondered if she’d been out for a run.
Did you catch the head hop? Upon meeting Lisa, Chris, the point-of-view narrator, suddenly seems to tell the reader that he has “clear blue eyes” and that his concern was “marring his brow.” This is considered head-hopping because these are Lisa’s impressions and feelings, not Chris’s. Unless Chris was looking in some random mirror out in the woods, or Lisa said, “Oh my, what blue eyes you have!” upon meeting him, Chris can’t relay this information. The best solution, in this case, is to simply delete that detail. Yet this type of “perspective creep” will show up everywhere, so be on the lookout!
FINAL THOUGHTS
As I said at the outset, choosing the correct perspective all comes back to intent. What story are you setting out to tell, and who will do the best job at telling that story? The answer may be clear right away, or it may take a few tries, but you’ll know when you find it. Questions? I’m happy to answer them in the comments!
Until next time, keep creating,
>> Don’t miss the other posts in the series: How to Avoid “Head-Hopping:” First-Person Point of View and How to Avoid “Head-Hopping”: Second-Person Point of View <<
(Post Photo by Caleb Stokes on Unsplash; example written by Jennifer Dinsmore)